9/11 Anniversary

It was 10 years ago that the United States had it's core shaken with an intensity that my generation will never forget. It was a Tuesday. I remember the day with a clear vision in the midst of an enormous fog. The day seemed to go by suddenly and crawl at the same time. I was on my way to work and had to flip the channel because they interrupted it for a weird news broadcast about something that was happening in New York City. Because I don't live any where near NYC, I was certain this had nothing to do with me! After all, I had an important appointment later that morning and I wanted to get some paper work done before my big day. I got to my office and turned the radio on and proceeded to get to work.

Again with the interruptions!!! I was getting kind of irritated by now. After changing the station a couple times I finally decided to listen to what was going on. I sat stunned for about 10 minutes before a coworker came in chipper and happy as usual. I asked her if she knew what was going on knowing full well she didn't considering her temperament.

I told her that there had been 2 planes just flown into the World Trade Center Towers in NYC. We sat for what seemed like forever just listening to the radio in my office - - stunned. After only about half an hour or so, I had to leave for my big appointment.

At approximately 11 am I found out that I was pregnant with my first child. As I was in the midst of such serious excitement, I was in fear of our country's current circumstances! How could I bring a child into a world that we are now in the midst of living in? My husband had just come home in June from his first military deployment in Kuwait. We hadn't even had our 1 year anniversary yet. We had just cancelled our plans to move to Wyoming after falling in love with the area on our honeymoon about 50 weeks prior to this devastating event.

What in the world is going on?!

*********************************************************************************

Now here we are, 10 years later. I have 3 kids, a dog and a 3 legged cat. Sarge has managed to rack up 3 more deployments. Our country has done what it can do to rebuild and realign itself to fight the terroristic attacks that rocked our nation.

A lot can change in 10 years. The Islamic terrorists that once attacked our nation now get to have a mosque just blocks from the memory of their attack on our country and get to have it in the name of "freedom of religion." But if a child wants to pray to God in a school, this is frowned upon. What is going on? How did our country come to this?

And since I've mentioned God, how about I go off on a rabbit trail on those that speak of God as if they know Him. I know that I have not worshipped God my entire life. Shoot, Ive only considered myself to be a full on believer for about 8 years now and only been going to church regularly since January of 2005 - but I know enough to know that I know WAY more about God and His word than SO many people that get to speak of Him on television.
Lucky for me, I lean toward an "all or nothing" approach to things that I do and God was no exception. When I was ready to learn, I was on it like "hite on rice." I go to church Sunday morning and evening as well as Wednesday evening services. Ive taken all but 2 tests to have an Oxford approved Associates degree in Theology (as well as a Bachelor's in Psychology and Master's in Counseling). I am an educated individual. Aside from my education, I have revelation.

I have revelation of the fact that just because I took a college Chemistry class, this does not make me an expert in the field of Chemistry. This doesn't make me any more a "scientist" any more than so many people get to call themselves "Christian" because they attended Vacation Bible School as a child.  Yet, so many people get to have an opinion of God and what He is and is not and broadcast it to the whole world.

What saddens me is that I remember being on the other side of salvation and thinking just like the scoffers of the world. Thinking that God allows this destructive type of thing to happen and doesn't do any thing to stop it. I remember thinking "Why doesn't God do something?" or "If there really is a God, why does this stuff have to happen?" or even "There cannot be a God considering all the crap that is going on in this world!"

See, in my head; God was suppose to be this lovely, happy, feel-good spirit that lived in this fictional place called "heaven." He loves everyone  everyone and all of use get to go to heaven even if we did a decent job here on earth. Shoot! I obeyed some of the commandments even though I didn't consider myself a christian!

But then I got myself on the right side of thinking. I see that while God is all powerful and all knowing, He doesn't have control of the earth and all its happenings. He doesn't get to put a little bubble around all the good, Christian folks and protect them from ever being hurt by anything or anyone. EVERYONE is subject to the evil one that was cast down from Heaven to Earth because he got a little too big for his britches and thought he could take on God.

Now, as part of living on the Earth, we have to fight a battle in what seems like our minds -  but really, it's a spritual battle between good and evil. Do you go with God by studying His word? Do you go with God in theory even though you don't bother to go to church or read the Bible? Do you just use God as a fire insurance policy hoping that you never go to Hell even though you aren't sure there really is a Hell?

I believe that we have to fight the devil. YES! I said the devil. Do you believe there is one? I do. And I believe just exactly what the Bible says about him too. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. Doesn't that sound like an awful lot of the yuck that happens in our world these days? What if the devil was the one responsible for all of this? Does believing this mean that you would have to believe in God? Would it mean that one would have to consider trying to understand how this all goes together?

Quite honestly, I think that there are just too many people that think all of these questions but choose to do nothing about it. Church is for weird people, right? Besides, why would you want to do something different with your life. It would just mess up your partying on Friday and/or Saturday nights and be able to try to sleep it off on Sunday.

I know that this tyraid is all over the place . . . I feel like I'm a little ADHD right now . . .

I guess what I need to say is that saying your a Christian doens't make you one any more than standing in the garage makes you a car/truck/lawn mower/power tool/etc.

God doesn't just let bad things happen to good people. The devil likes to get in the way and has done a pretty good job doing it. But, I know that God wins because I've read the book.
Have you?

not in vain.

So, it has been a while since I've last blogged. As many of you can imagine, I have been quite busy.
School ended a month ago and June flew by! July is gearing up to be quite busy as well! I have a trip to Norfolk, NE to take today to see my dad and step-mom for her birthday. Tomorrow we are traveling to Ida Grove, IA for a wedding of one of Sarge's cousins. Monday we are going to Battle Creek, IA to see Chris's family some more and to celebrate our dear country and the freedom we all enjoy and take for granted. The next Saturday is Chris's family reunion (because we NEVER see each other!) that his mom is hosting!!! I love these family reunions. They are always fun! The weekend of the 16th may be busy as it is my dad's birthday on the 17th. The 23rd we are celebrating Jacob's 4th birthday - hopefully Sarge will be home by then!!!! (he better be!) and by the 30th - i am hoping we will be on our way home from our vacation traveling around iowa.

Over the past few months there have been so many things that have happened too! My brother and his 2 kids came to visit a couple weeks ago and my mom surprised me by flying in as well!
The girls had a birthday in April - Bradee is now 2 and Taylor is 9. The birthday was great, but a few days before the party, I remember thinking that things just wouldn't be right without Sarge. He has never missed a birthday of one of the kids yet . . . well, this isn't entirely true. Jacob's first birthday Sarge was on AT (Annual Training for the National Guard) in California so me and the kids went to Florida! We had a party when we all got home which was nice so technically, Sarge has never missed a party here in Iowa, until this deployment.

Which brings me to my next point that I alluded to in the first paragraph. Deployments can suck something fierce. I have totaled up the amount of time Chris and I have been separated due to deployments and the number totals . . . . . keeping in mind we've been married not quite 11 years . . . . . . our separation totals . . . . . .3 years. Think about getting pregnant (for you ladies reading this) and having a baby and then your husband leaves and doesn't come back until that child is 3  years old! Now, granted this time has been separated across 4 deployments ranging from 6 months, 7 months, 9 months and 15 months.

Now, for my soap box. I get a lot of people asking things like "why are 'we' even over there?" they say things like "we should just get out of there and keep our troops home" . .. . things along those lines.I know that there are people that don't understand what that means to someone like me. To say that to me it is like saying that what my husband is doing and what my family and I sacrifice is worthless.

For those that ever feel like saying this -  think twice. We have a purpose of being over there. It is to defend those that cannot defend themselves against the tyrants of the world. We are trying to help. The news media isnt and doesnt show the good that is going on. What good would that do? It would actually mean that the decision to fight this war was worth it! I understand that there are many soldiers dying - but if there wasn't someone willing to die for you and your freedom, you too would be under and tyranny. Year after year, war after war - people die. I have been fortunate enough that my husband has returned safe and sound from each of the deployments he has been on and I fully expect him to return back home from this 4th one. If something awful should happen between now and then - I am prepared to handle that. I had to be before he even left. But his potential death - along with all of the other deaths that have been and will continue to be are not in vain.

This is why we have bar-b-ques, fireworks and parades coming up. To say that those that have fought, are fight and will fight do not do it in vain.

Thank you.

babbling with bubba

So, as many of you (and some may not be) know, Jake doesn't speak the greatest.
He has been in speech therapy for 4 to5 months I guess???
After discussing his progress within the past few weeks i realized a litle something . . . for nearly the entire year last year, Jacob was in the house with Sarge (a full time student and not a man of many words) and Bradee (a 1 year old who isn't advanced in the land of speech as well) - all day, nearly every day. No wonder this poor little guy wasn't developing in his speech development!
Since Sarge has been deployed and I work full time - Bradee and Jake are at a baby sitter's house all day - interacting with other kids and adults as well! He has grown leaps and bounds . . . but still needs therapy to help him express the ends of words and some other various sounds . . .

This brings me to my "babbling with bubba" . . . .
Driving home from church the other day i told Jacob that he was so cute and I asked if i could eat his face.
His response was: "no mama! da wou ow me!" (translation: No mama! That would ow (hurt) me!"

(WOW! trying to spell fonetcially in Jake-speak is kinda hard!)

Until next time. . .

You never know. . . .

Nearly 15 years ago I was a freshman in college. I dediced to skip class one afternoon and just after I layed down on my all too small of a dorm room bed, I got a phone call. It was a step-mother telling me that my father had been hospitalized. He eventually became diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy. Basically this means that his lower left ventrical of his heart was 4 times the size it shoudl be and that his heart was working correctly. For the next year, dad was in and out of hospitals and nearly on a transplant list. His cardiologist had a look upon his/her face at a yearly (maybe a 6 month) check up that my dad described it as a look to say that that dr. was surprised to see him alive.
During this time, my father quit smoking and had to get on disability (which was a huge struggle). Another major thing that happened during this time was that my father got saved. By continued prayers from someone we may not even know . . . or possibly my step-mom??? . . . my dad's life was spared. 
He currently has a variety of health issues . . . but when you consider the life he led for so many years, he's doing ok.
He is literally a walking miracle. Less than 1% of those diagnosed with his specific heart condition live 10 years without open heart surgery . . . the worst my dad has had to endure is an angioplasty.
He's fine. His heart is nearly normal. He is a miracle. Jesus gave us that miracle.

This brings me to the title of this story . . . "you never know" . . .
Today I will be going to a funeral of a man who did everything right. He was healthy. Lived a life void of a lot of physical labor (which tends to shorten our life expectancy) and appeared to take care of himself quite well. What he didn't know for a long time was he had a congenital heart defect. After finding this out, he had to have surgery. While at home during his recovery, this particular man didn't get a miracle.

How is it that my father - who did nearly EVERYTHING wrong - has survived this long and someone who did what seems to be EVERYTHING right passes?

While I am only 33 years old at the time of this writing, I contemplate my own life. I thank God every day that my father is with us and saddened by those that lose their family members too soon.

In no way, shape, or form am I suggesting that God killed this man . . .
I AM stating that I know without a shadow of a doubt that God healed my father though.

You never know . . . .

Bradee

Since my blog is titled "sharin' stories" i thought i might pass on a quick little story . . .
December 13, 2010 - i only remember because my brother in law came to help Chris install the rest of our kitchen floor that day and it happened to be his birthday - what a guy!
Anyway - i had a friend stop by the house as well and after she left, Bradee had been nagging me about something - not sure what as she doesn't speak too well just yet.

Picture this - a long living room with large windows facing the street (west) with a loveseat in front of it, a few feet farther in - a hallway to the bathroom and bedrooms (going south). just after the hall on the south wall, a regular sized couch with the entertainment center opposite this couch on the north wall. on the east wall of the living room is the door way to the dining room. I am at the door way to the dining room, Grant - the brother in law - is sitting on the couch and Bradee is standing at the front of the loveseat along the west side of the living room.

I ask Bradee if she wanted a drink - or something to that effect.
She looks at me with a stone cold face.

I say again - Bradee, do you need something in the kitchen? (as the kitchen is through the dining room and i was headed that way for her)
She continues the face.

I ask a THIRD time if she wants something from me.
AGAIN - the face!

I finally give up and say "forget it" and walk away.

I then hear Grant laugh so much that i turn away and ask what was so funny.
He proceeded to tell me that after i turned away, Bradee looked at him, smiled really big and put her hands up to her mouth, shrugged her shoulders and giggled!

It's been a while

Hello all

so, its been quite some time since my last post . . . I guess life has a way of getting away from us at times. To bring you all up to speed . . . we - well, let me be honest - Sarge redid our floors in the living room, dining room, hallway and kitchen from a nasty carpet (living and dining rooms and hallway) that needed replaced 8 1/2 years ago when we moved in and an ok linoleum in the kitchen TO a gorgeous wood laminate. I think im about 75% sure i love it.
I must say that the carpet REALLY hid the dirt a lot better than these floor do. Sadly, all of the work that went into getting the floors installed isnt done and may not be done until this summer . . .
We have the door trim to be put up, transition pieces to install, caulk around the front door, getting a piece of trim for the back door to the deck and there is some other funky piece of something that puts a seal on the floor for the door that leads to the back porch and ultimately into the garage.

The reason for this is fairly bittersweet . . . Sarge is now being deployed to Afghanistan. This is his 4th tour of duty overall and all have taken place in a matter of 10 years. The first was just after we were married in 2001 and he was stationed in Kuwait for just under 6 months. The next was from May 2003 to January 2004 in which he spent time in the Sinai peninsula of Egypt. The third deployment - Iraq(the longest) was from July 2005 to October 2006 and now we are entering the 4th tour.

He is expected to be home sometime this summer . . .
so for now, I am a "single-mom" to the Littles.

Life is always interesting . . . telling Bradee to leave the cat and dog alone, telling jacob to stop yelling and asking taylor to help and asking for God to give me the strength to not kill one of them.

Be educated . . .

a while ago Sarge mentioned a statistic that "most adults believe that 20's are the best years of their life."
I must admit that I went CRAZY! when i heard his (mis)information!!!!!

to start . . . i taught Lifespan Development this past summer and KNOW the real truth and this isn't it! After ranting and raving about how false and misleading this information is, i asked (probably told) Sarge to look up this given (mis)information. He complied and read me what it said. THIS is what the "study" said - by an independent research group (meaning they are NOT funded and probably NOT affiliated with any type of professional publishing and therefore do NOT follow professional guidelines for said studies):

58% of phone interviewed 18-29 year olds believe that the 20's are the best years of their life.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????!!!!!!

ok - if you haven't figured out the problem with this statement - let me put it in simple terms for you.
1. there are 18 and 19 year olds in this study!
2. the 20-29 year olds haven't lived past the 20's in order to even understand the magnitude and bliss that can come from NOT being in one's 20's!!!!
3. 58%?! - techinically this IS a majority - but really - it's barely over half AND it includes 18 and 19 year olds!!!!!

This, my friends, is the VERY reason we need to be educated individuals. There are TOO many times that words are twisted around in order for information to seem a particular way.

I urge you to research the information that is given to you . . .
be educated.

What a weekend!

So, I have a fantastic friend who is getting married Ocotber 9, 2010. She had asked me to be the maid of honor to which I was elated to have bestowed upon me. Well, with weddings come bachelorette parties. Since I am not the drinking type so much any more, I volunteered to be the designated driver for those that wished to partake in such activites. This bachelorette party was this past weekend. It all started Saturday afternoon .. . . . 

I was in my truck (car, SUV, whatever) with a member of the bridal party on our way to Council Bluffs to go to the hotel and meet a bunch of gals that were going to be part of the party. On our way, my truck starts acting funny. The battery needle/gauge showed it to be all the way to the right and my "check gauge" light came on. Bizarre? Well, I tried to call my husband, no luck. Tried my dad; no luck. Tried my husband again and he answered but by the time he answered, the needle had returned to normal. Ok . . . ? weird. I explained what was going on and we just agreed for me to keep driving because the truck wasn't acting funny in any way. So, as soon as I get off the phone, it goes back up! Then a bit later, it came back down. Then up again and back down. The total amount of times was at least 3 times - maybe 4. It was weird.
Well, we finally make it to the hotel and are the 1st one's there. That's cool. Pam (the bride-to-be) showed up a little bit later and then a few more people after we were in the hotel room. We are hanging out and just talking and finally decide it's time to head to the restaurant.
We had reservations made for 5pm - early yes - but we were informed that there was a large party of about 35 that was going to be taking up the entire dining room but we should be ok. Alright. Well, we get there about 5:10 and are seated right away. We all order something to drink (me with my water!) and wait for one more person to show up. After she shows up, we wait a little bit longer and decide to go ahead and order as it seems as if those that were going to show up were already there. So, we order and it takes a while to get our food. A little while after we have our food, the manager of the restaurant for the evening comes over and says that since it's 6:20 -we need to hurry up and leave because the other party is coming and they need to be seated. WHAT?! You are seriously asking us to leave when we JUST got our food not more than 5 minutes ago?! Oh, no you didn't! And we see a large party of high school students coming in and getting seated. THESE are the people who have the large party?! At the risk of sounding a bit off - there was NO way that those kids were going to be spending the money that we were at that time - not with what was being consumed by our table (not me though!). (wink, wink)

Well, after much turmoil and discussion - we paid for our food and things and left - not without assuring the manager that this type of thing WILL be reported to her superior. All necessary information was obtained - the general manager's name, her name, our waiter's name - who was GREAT! poor guy!, the time of our reservation and the fact that our reservation was ok'd by a manager when the call was made.
We leave quite upset and wondering what to do next. We decide to go across the street to a bar. We joke around with the staff and tell them what just happened to us. They are stunned. We get a place to sit and drinks (and water!) were ordered. We get some chips and salsa since not everyone got to finish their food and start having a good time. More people have shown up while we are having a good time cackling it up like a bunch of hens. Well, a waitress comes over and jokes around about how we have to leave in 15 minutes. We all laugh and then she says "Seriously though, can you guys keep it down a bit?" Apparently a table she was waiting on asked her to ask us to keep it down! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE ARE AT A BAR!!!! We tell the manager/supervisor lady working and she thought we were joking! NOPE! She asked who it was and we told her and I guess some fur was flying behind the scenes with that one! WOW!
So, we got kicked out of a restaurant and then told to quiet down at a bar. What else is going to happen?!

Well, we decide to walk around the Old Market of Omaha and are having a good time. We are tying to find a place called Whiskey Tango - I was under the impression it's a country bar. We eventually find it after a brief stint around the area. We have a good time and are there quite a long time. We eventually decide to leave and go to the casino near the hotel. I lost $2 on the penny slots - but i got a free soda out of the deal! We decide we are hungry (seriously - how could we be hungry?!) so we want a perkins. No perkins around so we eat at some restaurant that was part of the hotel/casino. We feel the need to rehash the 1st restaurant experience of getting kicked out and all the stuff we have gone through! Our waitress is stunned, the other is as well and the manager is beside himself with this information.

Well, we make it back to the hotel and around 2 am, we decide to go to sleep.

The next morning, well  . . . we all got dressed and ready to go. I am wearing sweat pants  and a hoodie with tennis shoes. Well, while trying to go down the stairs, apparently my shoes are getting caught on the carpet and edge of the stairs  - - - or the devil took over my body and kept my legs from working properly - - - so i take a tumble down 1/2 a flight of stairs. I end up scraping up both knees, somehow cut a chunk out of my finger and hit my head pretty hard on the wall. I have an instant headache and my knees hurt. After seeing I am ok, my friends are laughing so hard they are crying . . . thanks guys! ;)

Well, i make it home - no truck problems!!!! To make a longer story short - I end up getting hit in the back of the head by Jake and have ANOTHER headache to deal with and then - Jake ends up hitting his head really hard at church and had to be taken to the ER that night! He ends up ok - but WOW!


What a weekend!!!!

Dont take my toothpaste!

So Taylor has her own special toothpaste . . . not really special  . . . just not the same as the toothpaste that Sarge and I use. Well, she seems to have had a difficult time putting it away some time back and I told her that she needs to be putting it away after she brushes her teeth. It seemed that at least once a week I had to reiterate this to her and I had finally had enough! I told her that if she doesn't put her toothpaste away, I was going to throw it away and she would have to use the same toothpaste and me and daddy. Well, I have failed to follow through with this but I think she realizes this fact.
However! She must notice in the morning that she has failed to put away her toothpaste and seems to think that there is some toothpaste fairy (or even I have been accused of this) that comes in and takes it out and leaves it on the counter!
Well, this morning she apparently had enough time to take care of the toothpaste fairy (who apparently can read) and tell her (or him?)

DON'T TAKE MY TOOTHPASTE! AND I MEAN IT TOO!

(if i knew how to put the picture my husband sent to me up here . . . i would. but since i don't . . . you can about imangine!)

Am I the only one?

I often find myself pondering this question . . . Am I the only one?
Am I the only one that feels that I HAVE to clean the house on Saturday and ONLY Saturday? Am I the only one that gets so flustered that if I can't get my house clean Saturday morning that I feel like I can't get it done for the rest of the day no matter how hard I try. I liked my routine and I want it back. I liked getting up on Saturday mornings and knowing that I was going to embark on a 6 hour cleaning escapade throughout my entire house starting in the kitchen, working my way to the dining room, then the living room, down the hall, into the bathroom and then ultimately the bedrooms. Dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, arranging, tidying up, occasionally the windows, scrubbing the sink, shower and toilet and all of the laundry. I LOVED my Saturdays. I knew what to expect and I was good at what I did. I even have let go of a few things along the way and don't feel the need to dust EVERY weekend so that has saved me quite a bit of time. When the dish washer was working (broke again!) that saved A LOT of time as well.

So I messed up my routine going back to school some 3 1/2 years ago. I tried so hard to maintain my cleaning schedule but the home work got in the way. I had to slowly let go of the things I loved so much. Folding laundry the correct way, hanging up all the clothes just right (lightest to darkest and hanging all according to short sleeves, mid length sleeves and then long sleeves and then the pants too . . . don't forget the pants!) - all of them facing the same way . . . like looking into a store . . . it was a sight to behold. But I let some things go none-the-less. After entering graduate school, nearly 8 months later I had our 2nd child. Well, I had to let go of some more things. . . then I got back into school and kept on truckin'! I was helping out at my daughter's school while trying to do homework and take care of a new born. The baby slowly got older and I just kept going and going and going. Another summer came and went and I was nearly finished with grad school. As I entered what I knew would be my last semester of classes . . . internship still in the air . . . I found out I was pregnant . . . AGAIN?! HOW CAN THIS BE?! Well, I know how it happens . . . but HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! ok, regroup and get yourself together kelli! Well, I got a job at the same place i did my internship and was now working full time, being a mom, wife, chief bottle washer and diaper changer as well as going to school. Am I the ONLY one crazy enough to do this?????? Again i ask this question . . . and again. . . I have to let go of more things . . . this time . . . i began to let go of something i held dear. . . the vacuum. I use to vacuum every week even though i felt that it could use it more . . . but i hate to admit this - but I have gone at least 2 weeks without vacuuming. I use to operate under the viewpoint . . . what if the Queen of England would show up at my house. . . what would she say?! Now, I operate under the viewpoint . . . i have 3 kids, a husband who is a full-time student, I work a full-time job and a part-time job . . . i don't care what the Queen says . . . she gets to have a maid! Am I the ONLY one who thinks like this?!

I have come to realize that I am not perfect and cannot maintain perfection to the degree that I wish. I'm busy, right? But why is there this constant nagging of "Am I the only one" who doesn't like the routine messed up, the house not clean, the flowers dying, the crackers on the table from supper still? I see so many things around the house that I want finished . . . but think . . . am i the only one that cares? I sure as heck know that the kids don't care . . . they don't see what I see. Shoot, Sarge doesn't see what I see! He never will and I am ok with that . . . we've discussed this and in NO way, shape, or form is this demeaning to him . . . it's just the facts (ma'am).

I want to be the person that cleaned every Saturday and got it done and liked it.
i don't want to let this go . . . am i the only one?

Happy Anniversary

I remember EVERYTHING  about this day. The night before as I was about to fall asleep I realized that my contacts were still in and I should have gotten up and taken them out . . . but I didn't so my eyes were somewhat strained. I got up, took a shower and headed to the hair dressers to get my hair done. I came back to my grandma's house and ate lunch with her and packed up my things and headed to the church. I arrived at the church and it was a whirlwind. Everyone was all over the place and I needed to get dressed and get ready for the day. The guys were all over the place and the ladies were in the bathroom getting ready. I was in a separate room getting everything on. It was almost 2 pm. . . just about time for picutres. We are all ready and Chris walks into the room and its just me and him. I am about to become Mrs. Christopher Pierce. Wow.

We get in the church auditorium and the pictures begin. Lots of standing and smiling . . . but all in all, it went well. It seemed to go smoothly and I was pretty excited. By 3:30 the pictures were finished and we waited in the back for nobody to see me. I kinda had to go to the bathroom, but decided against it because it was almost time to start and i didn't feel like fighting my dress and all the business i had underneath it! So, we press on. The music starts . . . Keeper of the Stars by Tracy Byrd. It's our song.

'It was no accident, me finding you. Someone had a hand in it, long before we ever knew. Now I just can't beieve, you're in my life. Heaven smiling down on me, as i look into your eyes. I tip my hat, to the keeper of the stars. He sure knew what he was doing, when he joined these 2 hearts . . . "

As I hear the music and begin my walk with my dad down the aisle, I see so many happy faces and I am ecstatic! I am GETTING MARRIED!!!  And then I see him. Standing so tall and smiling just so. . . not too big, not too small . . . he's just right. The words begin and we do our business. We light the unity candle, we are now one couple with both flames burning together. Chris repeats his vows and I can only whisper mine with tears streaming down my face. I am so in love with this man that the emotions are uncontainable. I am so happy to be able to join my life with his and take a lifetime journey together.

'You may now kiss the bride.' Oh, wow, it's over already! Ok! I gotta get these shoes off! Where are my slippers?! Please, my feet hurt . . . oh, ya, time to sign the marriage certificate and take a couple more pictures. Ok, done. Let's go stand and get ready to greet everyone as they exit the church. Wait! What is that? Chris?! Why is there a limo outside the church? Chris and I are wondering if someone should go tell the driver that he's at the wrong place! Oh, wait . . . nevermind. We were informed that as a wedding present, Chris' cousins and aunt paid for a limo for us to ride around in after the wedding. I am so humbled that someone thought so much of us to do that for us. What an amazing family I have just married into. Wow. Wait a minute! Uh, OH! What about our truck? Who is going to drive our truck to the reception?! YIKES! OH, NO! I don't know what to do. No less than 5 people are consoling me telling me it will be ok and that it will get taken care of. Chris gives the keys to his dad and he says he will drive it. Phew! ok, good nuff. Breath kelli, breath.

Everyone comes through the recieving line and its bubble time! We walk through the raining of bubbles and get to the limo. More pics and its off we go with the wedding party. We drive around and make it to the reception. We have a great time, greeting and then it's time to eat. The food was fantastic although i don't remember much of it. Im pretty sure there were meatballs and that was probably all i ate that night. This part was kind of a blur . . . the speeches, the toasts, the clean up (so I guess I don't remember EVERYTHING - but close!) . It's time for the dance . . . the band played and we had a great time. We closed the place down and I was getting exhausted. We get to the motel and we drop in exhaustion.
I am married. Ahhhhhh, time to sleep!

Here I am . . .

I feel like I need to let my faithful followers that I am still here.
I find myself quite busy and wonder if anyone else feels as frazzled as I do with life. When I say "wonder" I guess I probably need to share that rather than just ponder the potential, I really just think ... I must be the only one going through what I am dealing with and I don't know how to do all that I feel compelled or am responsible for doing.

Do explain, for those that are unaware . . .
I am a mother of 3 children. . Taylor - 8, Jacob - 3 and Bradee - 1
I have a husband who is a full-time college student who also does weekend work with the National Guard
We have a dog, Duke (a brittney spaniel who is super great with the kids)
I live in the same home we have had since 1 week before Taylor was born

I work at a small private school affiliated with my church called PeaceMakers Academy. I am the high school teacher and have 11 students who are VERY comfortable with each other. These students are great. I love them all dearly . . . nearly as much as I love my own children and would never treat them any differently. God has given me a heart for teenagers and I love it.

In addition to the family and full time teaching job . . . I also teach psychology classes at a local community college here in Sioux City.
While I love doing what I do . . . I find it quite difficult to juggle all of it. I teach Tuesday nights, church Wendesday nights, Friday night family night and Sunday morning and night is devoted to church as well. On top of all of this, I want to be a good wife and mother. In addition to this. . . please let me explain that I have tendencies that have been described at obsessive.

I hate the house messy. I hate dirty dishes. I hate laundry everywhere and prefer to have things folded a certain way as well as hung all the same way. I hate seeing dog hair everywhere. I have nasty carpet that is ridiulously stained and I am embarassed because of it. The porch and deck to my house are in DESPARATE need of repair and my basement is unfinished but my bedroom is down there in order to give bedrooms to my kids.

Time and money. Two serious resources I feel like I never have enough of. My time is eaten up with so many things . . . mostly work. I would like to not HAVE to work at WIT - - - but, when a family is living on literally 1/2 of the income that once was . . . things fall by the way-side . . . things like finishing a basement, fixing a porch or deck, getting new carpet, getting a fridge that is big enough to buy groceries for a week and NOT run out of room immediately after putting the 2 gallons of milk and fresh veggies and fruit in it, things like being able to pay for new clothes and shoes for my kids without wondering if we are going to have enough money for the electricity bill  . . . .
on top of that, soccer games on saturday and trying to keep the house clean and keep up on notes for the class at WIT and grade assignments that were due LAST week!


so with my mind focused on the obligations i have made to employers . . . where is the time for me to spend with my kids? with my husband?
With him home, he TRIES to get homework done, but that's difficult with the little ones running around . . . a baby sitter would be great . . . but that costs money. . . you know. that precious little resource that we don't have nearly enough of.


time and money . . .

I am told to cherish the time I have with my kids now and I really want to . . . I do what I can . . . but I find myself getting caught up in the details of the day that I do not end up enjoying the times I have during the day.

ugh . . .

a glimpse in the life of a 3 year old . . .

So, I feel the need to add a light hearted little glimpse into the ins and outs that comprises my day/evening/life/whatever . . . Anyway, I am type, type, typing away on the computer to post assignments for a college course that I am teaching. I look over and I see Jacob with a calculator to his ear. "eh-whoa."
Now, for those that don't know "Jakenese" or Jacob's own personal language, this is Hello, just without the H sounded out and the double L replaced by a W sound. "eh-whoa."

Further clarification may need to be given regarding the calculator. We have Blackberry phones and many of you may know that these are somewhat bigger than the small flip-phones that are out there. So, a few months back, the littles got ahold of this and decided it could double as a phone!

So, there you have it, Jacob is on the "phone" speaking "Jakenese" to whomever he darn well pleases. Now, in this instance, I am not quite sure if he was fully aware as to whom he was talking to though because the "conversation" went a little like this:
jacob: eh-whoa?  eh-whoa? (turning away and walking now) uh-huh, i bubba.
mysterious caller: ?????
I can only assume that whomever was on the line hung up or prank called our calculator because Jacob decided to throw down the phone and chase after "YA-YA!" (that's Taylor for those of you not in the know.)

And then I continued to return to working.

What if . . .

I would like to preface this post by saying that I wish NOT to offend anyone but if I do, I hope to offend all who read this with enough compassion for those who feel offended by others. I wish NOT to get into an argument about my stance and will NOT respond to any replies that would seem to invite such an act. 
Now, onto my story. . .
As you all are very well aware, I am on facebook. As anyone who is on facebook can ultimately figure out, there is a significant number of groups that you can be a part of and groups you can "like" for whatever reason. I have recently seen a group that supports the idea that those who are welfare should be forced to have drug tests. This absolutely astonishes me! I cannot tell you how much this offends me as a human being.

I often wonder about those that support such an idea. For those that do support such a notion, I ask you these questions and invite you into a world that you may have never considered.
Imagine you are married, college education and have 2 children. You and your spouse are working. You are basically living like any other "typical" American . . . house payment, car payment, utilities and probably the occasional credit card. You have realized that you may have overextended your means a time or two and probably are not putting enough into savings. Now, imagine for an instance that your spouse gets laid off - the one with the greater income AND family health insurance plan. Ok, great. Now what? Well, you have to have insurance - those kids really need it. Now, unemployment could be an option, but that is going to run out eventually right . . . and you still have to pay for insurance somehow. Well, another job is found but it is significantly less pay but you somehow manage to make it work. Whew! Well, how about a few months later, YOU lose your job and this time you were the one with the greater income because your spouse had to take a lower paying job to make sure that the family had health care - God forbid anything happen to any of you and you are without insurance - only making the bills THAT much more ridiculous! Ok, now what - AGAIN! Let's just say that you lose that job right after you or your spouse has added a third child to the family! Ok, so, you have a lot of bills that use to be sustained by the once decent income that you had. You are doing what you can to pay the bills but you have come to realize that whatever is out there for a job would be just given over to a baby sitter because of how expensive childcare is. In a tough job market, beggers can't be choosers but you have to make sure that you have a job that is going to MAKE you money, not lose it! Im not sure if many of you are aware of the fact that if you are working MINIMUM WAGE, and have 3 kids in daycare - you aren't going to be bringing ANY money home AFTER you pay for day care! So, now what are you going to do? Those kids have to eat. You can probably go hungry and hey, maybe you wanted to lose a few pounds anyway . . . starving isn't exactly what you had in mind . . . but you have to do something! After a couple months of going through your savings (remember you weren't too good at getting that nest egg built up . . .after all, you are YOUNG!) and applying at every conceivable decent paying job out there that you won't have to sign right over to the baby sitter - you are broke and have only one income and that is 1/4 of what you were making when the both of you are working. What are you going to do? What can you do? Sell the house? Sell the car? Move in with your parents? Your heart is breaking because no matter what you do, you don't have enough money to make it work.

What are you going to do? Do you suck it up and apply for welfare only to know that you have friends out there that think that you should be taking a drug test because of the serious series of unfortunate events in your life? How are you going to look your friends in the eye know how they are going to feel about you?
Because you have come to a VERY rough spot in your life and you don't know how else to take care of you and your family . . . what are YOU going to do?

Are you going to change your mind and realize that it COULD happen to you? Or, are you going to go on thinking that anyone on welfare is taking advantage of the system and rather than realize that some DO have legitimate reasons for the need, you just assume that 'one bad apple, ruined the whole bunch.'

What are YOU going to do?

Thank you Jacob

Well Sarge is a master of several trades . . . one specific one being fully capable of maintaning our vehicles. While he was changing my oil and air filter in my Durango, Jacob decided to "help" by maintenancing the inside of the truck. Well since I have a push-button dome light that comes on by just pushing it, Jacob managed to push it "on" while Chris was unaware.
Well, later that night/early evening we had a nice young man soliciting some type of cleaning product. I didn't have the heart to interrupt him as he seemed to have his speech memorized. He said there was "no obligation to buy" but I don't know that he realized that we have NO intention of buying from him no matter how great the product. Boy that guy was a fast talker. Well, in the midst of his display of how fabulous his merchandise was, he suggested we see if we have any oil on the driveway. Ironically enough, we DO! Well Sarge hops in the truck to move it and "tick, tick, tick" - try again "tick, tick, tick" - try again and it started. Hmm, that was bizarre?! We let it go and thought nothing of it . . . until we tried to move the truck back later that night. Now the story comes full circle. Sarge realized that since Jacob was in the truck and he looked around and found the dome light on. CRAP! Well, now my truck has been in the same spot since Thursday early evening. Humpf.
Now, we have several options to choose from. Go to an uncles place in Mapleton that may have an extra, wait until Monday for a friend of the family to bring one up to us, go to Norfolk to get my dads or get a new battery.

Decisions, decisions.
Oh, by the way, we didn't buy the cleaning product. It did look like some good stuff, but when the cash flow isn't as great as we would like, we shall refrain.

Thank you Jacob. I love you.

Stuff

Kelli's Blog . . . start date 8/15/10, 11:39 pm
I can't sleep. I took a nap this afternoon and have yet to fall into a peaceful slumber for the evening. As I laid in bed with a 3 year old snugly nestled in my back (because he was afraid of monsters or something) I couldn't help but begin to hate allergies and the results that come from them. I find it difficult to breathe out of both nostrils at the same time which tends to put me in the "mouth breathers" category for a while. What I find to be the most difficult of scenarios is that I have finally given in to the fact that I probably have allergies and that actually doing something about them would help me from getting chronic sinus infections. Which then leads me another point altogether. My husband and I pay out of pocket for our family's health insurance as we do not have an employer that carried insurance for us. With this insurance, we also have prescription benefits to this. A copay for us doesn't exist for doctors visits and the medication coverage is phenomenal. What is maddening about all of this is that it would cost me LESS to let my allergies get to the point to me having a sinus infection and going to the doctor and getting a prescription than what it would to take over-the-counter medication on a continual basis to combat the allergy symptoms that plague me year round. In my mind, that's ranking right up there with the mafia! Seriously, do the drug companies really need to charge this much for medication?! It's allergies!!!!!! It's not like I'm trying to combat cancer or AIDS or something! Please forgive me as I am sure that the medications for said atrocities are way more expensive than measly allergy medication, but I'm irritated.

Well, now that I have THAT out of my system . . . I will move on to my next latest adventure . . . or lack of adventure, if  you will. This past weekend was my husband's family reunion. This year is was held at his mother's twin sister's home in Emmetsburg, IA. I was unable to attend as I felt it to be necessary to be at a bridal shower for a lovely lady whom has graced me with the honor of being her maid of honor in her wedding this fall!!!! (I just used the word "whom" correctly for anyone noticing!) Since my husband is a man among men, he decided it would be fun to take the kids camping at his aunt's house for the weekend and I would stay home with the dog. Well, I would be lying if I said that I was less than THRILLED at this suggestion! You see, I DO NOT camp. I do not sleep soundly if I am not in a place that I feel that I am "home" in some way. Shoot, while I am being honest, I don't sleep soundly nearly anywhere. I am a VERY light sleeper and according to my husband, I am able to hear a mouse fart a mile away. So, for me to go camping would be rough! I hear all those crickets and zecatas (spelling?!) at night! I heard those birds chirping in the morning. I hear the kids talking on the main floor of the house when I am in the basement. I hear whispers across the room for crying out loud! So, for me to think about going camping does not sit well as I would have extreme difficulty falling asleep when surrounded by NOISE! On top of this, I would NOT be in a bed. I am fond of beds, especially comfortable ones. I have slept in quite a few beds, whether at home, college, my parents' homes after college/marriage, motels/hotels, etc. I think that I would prefer a bed to an air mattress any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I quite frankly consider myself to be of a larger proportion and this type of scenario doesn't bode well with an air mattress, ok?! For me to roll over/switch from one side to another would involve the potential of shooting my husband air-born about 3 feet! Now, I don't know about the rest of you folks, but I'm willing to skip this "adventure."
So, I stayed home. I went out with a friend Friday afternoon and got a pedicure and my nails done after we had lunch at Hardees. If I may make a plug for them, the grilled cheese bacon cheeseburger was AWESOME!!! It may very well have been a heart attack waiting to happen, but I risked it and am here today to tell you about the greasy, cheesy goodness . . . yum! After I was finished at the salon, I went to purchase a gift for previously mentioned bride-to-be at Target. Now, I don't frequent this shopping center very often, but I rather enjoyed my own special finds on the clearance rack while I was there! What I also found enjoyable was that some of the clothing found was labeled a size or two below what I thought I could wear - woot, woot!!! (this is significant when you get to be just "my size" - of course I probably wouldn't be "my size" if  I wouldn't eat those delicious - unpaid plug - grilled cheese bacon cheeseburgers from Hardee's huh!)
After I was finished shopping for me and my friend, I came home and watched tv with no interruptions, no screaming and crying children, nobody yelling from the bathroom "Done! Mama, done!" It was bliss. I then went out to Quiznos (another plug!) to have a chicken ceasar salad. Yum, again. I love those things (minus the onions and tomatoes - yuck.)!!! While I was eating my dinner, in deafening silence, I actually had to turn the tv UP to drown out the DEAFENING sound of those stupid bugs outside creating such a racket!!! UGH! What was on the tv you may ask? Well, "Diary of an Angry Black Woman" is the answer. While it is true that I am in fact, not and angry black woman, I must say that any woman who has ever felt wronged by a man in any way would seriously appreciate the movie. In the middle of this movie I enjoyed a lengthy trip back in time with a phone conversation with my younger brother. We got to the point of laughter that it took me back so many years that I felt like I was in high school again laughing with him making fun of our older brother and our dad! It was fantastic! I also realized that we (my younger brother) and I laugh the same way! Isn't it funny how you notice things like that? Ok, maybe you don't, but those of you that know me best KNOW that this type of stuff is what drives me. After my conversation with my brother, I finished the movie and retired to my bed. A sore spot at the moment as this is where I would like to be! I had to put a pillow over my head, careful not to cover my nose and mouth so that I can breathe, but enough to cover my ear to drown out the sound of those ridiculous BUGS outside!!!! Seriously!!! They have no respect for those that like to sleep. I'm gonna have to have a talk with the Big Guy when I get to Heaven about this.
The next day was fun and very busy. Straighten up the house, and admire how it stayed that way - ALL DAY!, take the dog to the vet, lay out in the sun for an hour, shower and then went to previously mentioned bridal shower!!! I came back home and took a nap as I was struggling with some sinus issues (note the beginning of this blog!) and hoped that napping would help my body recover. Got up and had no such luck. Went to friends house with said bride to be and her fiance - it was her brother and sister in laws home. Grilled out, had some ice cream, had a good time all in all. Came home to a nearly empty house (the dog was still home) and went to bed. Once again, pillow over the head and a fan going to help drown out the sound of the bugs!
I woke up at 8 am the next morning (Sunday) and decided I didn't have enough sleep so I went back to sleep for another hour. I got up, got myself ready for church and away I went. I didn't have to dress any kids, get them breakfast, wait for Chris to smoke a cigarette . . . nothing. Just took care of me and out the door I went. It  . . . . was . . . . great. I still had my sinus issues . . . but i figured by this time i was just going to have to bite the bullet and get some allergy meds. dang.
I worked the nursery at church and while leaving the church to come home, I left alone. No kids running around, no option of losing Jacob like i do EVERY Sunday, no Taylor yelling "I have to say 'Good-bye' to Lillie!" and no Bradee insisting on walking without holding onto someone's hand, no waiting for Chris to make sure he is ready to go. ahhhh, bliss.
All of that was suddenly taken away when I get in the truck and look at my phone and see that Chris texted me to say that he and the kids left his aunts house nearly 2 hours ago. Crap. Well, there's goes my nap after church. Well, I called Chris and we discussed lunch options and I complied with cardboard pizza. Easy enough right? (shrugs) So after I got home from the store, I got the pizzas cooking and prepared for the silence to be over in just a few short minutes.
And then, it happened. Chris pulled into the driveway and my life was back to normal. I adore my husband and my children. While I really loved having things quiet, I give it all up for one quick witted comment from Taylor, one flash of a grin from Jacob, one cute little bat of an eye from Bradee and a hug from my husband.
 Heaven on Earth.

3 year old speak

So it all started August 1, 2010. Chris did not end up getting deployed and he went to Denison to see his fellow National Guard members off for their trip to Afghanistan. I stayed home with the 3 "littles" because the littlest little had been running a fever the previous day and part of the day in discussion. That evening, Taylor and I went to church and afterwards, I was on the way home and I called my older brother to wish him a happy birthday with a song from me and taylor! (who wouldn't want an 8 year old singing to them on their birthday really?!)
While talking with my super awesome MUCH older brother - ok - it's only 2 years - but i revel in the fact that he's older - we got to talking about how I had a hankerin' to go to Bob's Bar in Martinsburg, NE. (Those of you who have never gone, that's another story that will have to wait!) After admitting that he had NEVER been there, I about lost it! How he could live in the general vacinity (within 100 miles) for so long and not dined at the excusite Bob's Bar was beyond me! I told him WE HAVE TO GO!!!! Then I remembered the 1st time I experienced such cuisine. . . Chris was getting ready to deploy to Iraq. It was June or July of 2005. Taylor was just over 3 years old and we went with my very good friends Pam and Joe. We took Taylor with us because that's what we did - take her with us EVERYWHERE! (It's nice to have a lot of suitable sitters now for the littles.)
So, Taylor it playing around while we are all talking and laughing and she comes over to me and proceeds to yell "Mooooom, I gotta go pooooooop!" I nearly pee my pants laughing so hard and I proceed to take her to the "bathroom." Im not sure if a toilet behind a very weak door consitutes as a bathroom, especially when the sink is OUTSIDE the bathroom, but the term shall remain "bathroom."

Well, "How does this equate to today?" you may ask . . . well, i will tell you. I took Jacob (now 3) to his yearly check up this past week. We go through the general questions about his home life, eating habits, sleep habits, sisters, shots, etc. The Dr. asks if he will be attending pre-school this fall. I immediate answer "The kids can't talk! There's no way he would make it in pre-school!" So this prompts the Dr. to ask how comprehensible his speech is. My face must have looked awful. me: "Um . . . .huh!" dr: "Can you understand 1/2 of what he says?" me: "Nope." dr: "we need to refer him to speech therapy." me: jaw drops, pick it up and say, "ok." thoughts roll through my head "how could i be so oblivious?!" "I have a master's degree in counseling and a bachelor's degree in psychology! how does MY son have difficulty with speech?! I should be able to fix him!" "I remember Taylor having trouble talking when she was little! Isn't Jacob in the same general area of difficulty?!" Then i remember the conversation that I just had with my OLDER brother about how Taylor had to go "pooooooop!" Crap! He's super behind in his speech development! Then i realize, it's nothing i've done, it's just Jacob and he hasn't had to talk for him because we all do the job instead! So, he's on a waiting list and hopefully we will get my little "caveman" to talk instead of grunt, point and yell incomprehensible obscenities at us! :)

So, now we have come full-circle and my story is done.

Always,
kelli

New Beginnings

So I have decided to start a blog. As every day is an adventure for me, I have been toying with the idea of blogging to share my stories and give myself some much needed relief. I am wondering if it will be a therapy of sorts . . . .

To begin my blog, I will share with you this: I am married to a wonderful man "Sarge" . . . or, Chris is what his given name is. We we joined together in wedded bliss on September 16, 2000. It was a gorgeous day and I can only hope to remember it for all my days.

We have 3 amazing kids whom I am completely infatuated with when I am not completely frustrated with them! Taylor is our oldest (8) and if you ask her, the wisest and most prettiest! She is a true princess in her own mind and if you don't believe me, just ask her! She is truly a child of God and I am blessed to have her in my life. Jacob is one of the sweetest little boys I have ever known. He is three at the time of this writing and our "runt." He loves anything that has wheels and prefers to speak his own language and we are all still trying daily to decipher it. I feel like it is verbal, ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics! (I really hope I spelled that correctly!) With Jacob, I laugh when he laughs and cry when he cries. He is simply amazing. Our last baby here with us is Bradee. She is nearly 16 months old and may just be a mini-me - attitude and all. Bradee was the one baby we didn't expect to have as soon as we did, but I love her all the same, so I guess, I'll keep her. I find it amazing to watch her look and mimic her brother and sister in their actions. I also find it frustrating when she appears to have these same feelings because she can't move as well as Taylor and Jacob.

My life for the past 10 years have been a whirl-wind and I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. It's been a roller coaster ride, but's it's been worth it.

At the end of the day, I look at my life and am amazed at what God has blessed me with and am happy that I will live to see another day.

Always,

kelli