Am I the only one?

I often find myself pondering this question . . . Am I the only one?
Am I the only one that feels that I HAVE to clean the house on Saturday and ONLY Saturday? Am I the only one that gets so flustered that if I can't get my house clean Saturday morning that I feel like I can't get it done for the rest of the day no matter how hard I try. I liked my routine and I want it back. I liked getting up on Saturday mornings and knowing that I was going to embark on a 6 hour cleaning escapade throughout my entire house starting in the kitchen, working my way to the dining room, then the living room, down the hall, into the bathroom and then ultimately the bedrooms. Dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, arranging, tidying up, occasionally the windows, scrubbing the sink, shower and toilet and all of the laundry. I LOVED my Saturdays. I knew what to expect and I was good at what I did. I even have let go of a few things along the way and don't feel the need to dust EVERY weekend so that has saved me quite a bit of time. When the dish washer was working (broke again!) that saved A LOT of time as well.

So I messed up my routine going back to school some 3 1/2 years ago. I tried so hard to maintain my cleaning schedule but the home work got in the way. I had to slowly let go of the things I loved so much. Folding laundry the correct way, hanging up all the clothes just right (lightest to darkest and hanging all according to short sleeves, mid length sleeves and then long sleeves and then the pants too . . . don't forget the pants!) - all of them facing the same way . . . like looking into a store . . . it was a sight to behold. But I let some things go none-the-less. After entering graduate school, nearly 8 months later I had our 2nd child. Well, I had to let go of some more things. . . then I got back into school and kept on truckin'! I was helping out at my daughter's school while trying to do homework and take care of a new born. The baby slowly got older and I just kept going and going and going. Another summer came and went and I was nearly finished with grad school. As I entered what I knew would be my last semester of classes . . . internship still in the air . . . I found out I was pregnant . . . AGAIN?! HOW CAN THIS BE?! Well, I know how it happens . . . but HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! ok, regroup and get yourself together kelli! Well, I got a job at the same place i did my internship and was now working full time, being a mom, wife, chief bottle washer and diaper changer as well as going to school. Am I the ONLY one crazy enough to do this?????? Again i ask this question . . . and again. . . I have to let go of more things . . . this time . . . i began to let go of something i held dear. . . the vacuum. I use to vacuum every week even though i felt that it could use it more . . . but i hate to admit this - but I have gone at least 2 weeks without vacuuming. I use to operate under the viewpoint . . . what if the Queen of England would show up at my house. . . what would she say?! Now, I operate under the viewpoint . . . i have 3 kids, a husband who is a full-time student, I work a full-time job and a part-time job . . . i don't care what the Queen says . . . she gets to have a maid! Am I the ONLY one who thinks like this?!

I have come to realize that I am not perfect and cannot maintain perfection to the degree that I wish. I'm busy, right? But why is there this constant nagging of "Am I the only one" who doesn't like the routine messed up, the house not clean, the flowers dying, the crackers on the table from supper still? I see so many things around the house that I want finished . . . but think . . . am i the only one that cares? I sure as heck know that the kids don't care . . . they don't see what I see. Shoot, Sarge doesn't see what I see! He never will and I am ok with that . . . we've discussed this and in NO way, shape, or form is this demeaning to him . . . it's just the facts (ma'am).

I want to be the person that cleaned every Saturday and got it done and liked it.
i don't want to let this go . . . am i the only one?