Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Here I am . . .

I feel like I need to let my faithful followers that I am still here.
I find myself quite busy and wonder if anyone else feels as frazzled as I do with life. When I say "wonder" I guess I probably need to share that rather than just ponder the potential, I really just think ... I must be the only one going through what I am dealing with and I don't know how to do all that I feel compelled or am responsible for doing.

Do explain, for those that are unaware . . .
I am a mother of 3 children. . Taylor - 8, Jacob - 3 and Bradee - 1
I have a husband who is a full-time college student who also does weekend work with the National Guard
We have a dog, Duke (a brittney spaniel who is super great with the kids)
I live in the same home we have had since 1 week before Taylor was born

I work at a small private school affiliated with my church called PeaceMakers Academy. I am the high school teacher and have 11 students who are VERY comfortable with each other. These students are great. I love them all dearly . . . nearly as much as I love my own children and would never treat them any differently. God has given me a heart for teenagers and I love it.

In addition to the family and full time teaching job . . . I also teach psychology classes at a local community college here in Sioux City.
While I love doing what I do . . . I find it quite difficult to juggle all of it. I teach Tuesday nights, church Wendesday nights, Friday night family night and Sunday morning and night is devoted to church as well. On top of all of this, I want to be a good wife and mother. In addition to this. . . please let me explain that I have tendencies that have been described at obsessive.

I hate the house messy. I hate dirty dishes. I hate laundry everywhere and prefer to have things folded a certain way as well as hung all the same way. I hate seeing dog hair everywhere. I have nasty carpet that is ridiulously stained and I am embarassed because of it. The porch and deck to my house are in DESPARATE need of repair and my basement is unfinished but my bedroom is down there in order to give bedrooms to my kids.

Time and money. Two serious resources I feel like I never have enough of. My time is eaten up with so many things . . . mostly work. I would like to not HAVE to work at WIT - - - but, when a family is living on literally 1/2 of the income that once was . . . things fall by the way-side . . . things like finishing a basement, fixing a porch or deck, getting new carpet, getting a fridge that is big enough to buy groceries for a week and NOT run out of room immediately after putting the 2 gallons of milk and fresh veggies and fruit in it, things like being able to pay for new clothes and shoes for my kids without wondering if we are going to have enough money for the electricity bill  . . . .
on top of that, soccer games on saturday and trying to keep the house clean and keep up on notes for the class at WIT and grade assignments that were due LAST week!

so with my mind focused on the obligations i have made to employers . . . where is the time for me to spend with my kids? with my husband?
With him home, he TRIES to get homework done, but that's difficult with the little ones running around . . . a baby sitter would be great . . . but that costs money. . . you know. that precious little resource that we don't have nearly enough of.

time and money . . .

I am told to cherish the time I have with my kids now and I really want to . . . I do what I can . . . but I find myself getting caught up in the details of the day that I do not end up enjoying the times I have during the day.

ugh . . .


  1. Kelli, we can all relate on some scale to what you are talking about. Try to find ways to incorporate all your tasks into quality time with the kids... for example have tay help out with cleaning and some kitchen duties. Some of the best talks i remember as a kid were either while helping mom fold laundry or at the kitchen sink! I know it's way easier said than done, but if your plate is too full, try taking something off of it.
    Most of all, lean on your faith and know that this too shall pass and you will be a better person because of it. You are an awesome gal! Love ya!!!!

  2. Oh sister, I hear you loud and clear. I'll be praying that God grants us BOTH some extra time supernaturally and in the meantime, let's get together and talk about all this. I was feeling quite alone in my struggles and desperation to juggle it all till I read this... So much love from me to you, from one uber-babe to another,